Three Commandments That Would Surely Make You Fail

Retaining customers is a big challenge for most companies, be it small or large multinational corporations. A lot has been written and said about how to attract and retain customers. From the most absurd to the most practical, these tips serve as a guide to most business executives. This article is not about that. This article would rather focus on what you should do to fail. A lot has been written and said about what to do to succeed but rarely do you encounter pieces about how to fail. These commandments are sure fire measures to fail. Do them and expect to fail. Read them and avoid them at all cost.

First Commandment: Ignore thy customers.

Feedback is a waste of time and money. If your customers are not delighted, well, they can look for other shops or providers. You should not care about their musings because they just want to suck out everything from your business. These customers are not worth your time and your effort. You should adopt the take it or leave it attitude. If they do not like it, they can just walk out. You can also offer your business like an exclusive offer – if you can't afford it, too bad. If they are not satisfied with it - they just have to live with it.

To practice this: When customers complain about something, give them the business card printing of the lowest level personnel and tell them that you don’t have time to listen. This is more diplomatic than giving them the middle finger.

Second Commandment: Show lack of concern towards your business.

You are the owner. It is your business. You run it the way you know how. If they have something to say about your business, then suggest they put up their business first. Exhibit a devil-may-care attitude. Because when you don't love your brand, what it stands for, and why it matter... others will begin to feel the same way.

To practice this - Start with how you print your color business cards. Do not be bothered by how it would look. Do not take the advice of marketing professionals - they are a complete waste of time and money. You would rather just print it from your colored printer; use the fonts that you like. Add as many colors as you like. Be flamboyant. Voila! You have your own smudgy, poorly designed business card printing. For better results, print your business card on ordinary paper. They will be thrown away anyway so what the hell.

Third Commandment: Do not plan for long term.

A complete waste of time! You'll never know if your business will run for more than a year anyway so why develop a plan. Again, building a successful brand takes a lot of time and effort so why go through the process. A business should be about the here and now. Changes are expected to happen so there is no need to plan for the future.

Forget about printing dozens of color business cards. You might change horses in the middle of the game. In short, short-term perspectives will work just fine. Move on to the next thing before you grow stale.

These are the commandments of the time. Do not explore and experiment because they are costly. These three commandments are for you to follow – that is, if you want to fail in whatever business undertaking you have at hand. Finally, as my advice – follow these advices and you are sure to hasten your business’ demise.

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