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How To Discipline A Child ? - Learn 3 Key Steps

By Laura Kaine - Feb 27, 2010

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First of all, what do we precisely imply by "How to discipline a child?". I seriously think that the word "discipline" is an old fashion way to express a good behaviour in a little one with you and with other people. It signifies the respect of the principles you are attempting to set up within your family. It is the discipline. Rules. Obey. Discipline. Sounds a little bit military to me. So what about love? What about tender moments with your child? Some of you probably will think "I can love my little one and still set up strict boundaries he must obey. Boundaries are crucial, love is natural. It is distinct." Well no. It isn't distinct. It precisely has to be the same. Let me explain this.

My straightforward and crystal clear answer to the question "How to discipline a child?" is this: Make your limits mean love. Do not distinguish the sweet and playful moments you share with your child from the discipline issue.

Listed below are the 3 easy steps I want to share with you:

1. Ask your child what he thinks of the rules you set up. The reason why, in his opinion, you're making these rules. Then ask what he would be doing without these boundaries if he was by himself. Then make clear that, as a parent, you are the one to know what is good for him and that the reason why you set up limits is because you love him and want the best for him. Without these principles, there would be less love. When you give him a punishment, it's because you want him to fully grasp what is right and what is wrong so that when he will grow up, he will do what is good for himself. Children can comprehend that.

2. When you say "no", clarify what you say "no" to. Always. If it's a firm, justified and explained "no", your kid will think it over and understand it. Without an explicit motive, a "no" can seem pretty unfair to your child. Give him the tools to understand your reactions and consequently his own behaviour.

3. Distinguish your kid from his behaviors. What I mean is : always make really clear to your kid that when you punish him for doing this or that, it is mainly because you dislike his behavior. This has nothing to do with the love you feel for him. You love him anyway. Simply tell him this truth. But it's his behavior that has to change. Children easily take a punishment for a lack of love. The love for your little one is obvious for you, not always for him. Hug him after each punishment to make him accept punishments as a part of education and as a logical consequence to a bad behavior.

I do wish I answered "How to discipline a child?" in a way that will help you parenting your child and give him all he needs to become a responsible, caring and sensitive grownup. Naturally, your situation may very well be way more challenging. If your little one is disrespectful and defiant for a long time, you might need way more than these advices. What I can recommend is to apply a parenting program. That is what I did. Regardless of how problematic the problem is at this time, you can solve it. Trust me.
Author Bio
I'm a mom and an editor and a wife too. I discovered how wonderful mastering parenting skills is when I faced a very difficult situation with my daughter's behavior, June. Having changed this situation into a strong relationship and real peace of mind for me and my husband thanks to a parenting program, it made me want to share what I know to help others, which I did, with several families, different situations. It changes everything to understand what are the mistakes we make, how we can improve the way we communicate with our children to help them become responsible adults. Later, I gathered a team of parents to build together a website about parenting methods, to tell parents who feel powerless that we know some parenting methods can be effective and make a difference. To me that's what is great about internet. Gathering people, helping people, sharing valuable knowledge and spreading the word about solutions that really work. I do hope my articles will give the answers you're looking for, and give you hope back.

Other Resources
http://www.yourparentinghelp.com
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