How To Discipline A Child ? - Learn 3 Key Steps
By Laura Kaine - Feb 27, 2010
My straightforward and crystal clear answer to the question "How to discipline a child?" is this: Make your limits mean love. Do not distinguish the sweet and playful moments you share with your child from the discipline issue.
Listed below are the 3 easy steps I want to share with you:
1. Ask your child what he thinks of the rules you set up. The reason why, in his opinion, you're making these rules. Then ask what he would be doing without these boundaries if he was by himself. Then make clear that, as a parent, you are the one to know what is good for him and that the reason why you set up limits is because you love him and want the best for him. Without these principles, there would be less love. When you give him a punishment, it's because you want him to fully grasp what is right and what is wrong so that when he will grow up, he will do what is good for himself. Children can comprehend that.
2. When you say "no", clarify what you say "no" to. Always. If it's a firm, justified and explained "no", your kid will think it over and understand it. Without an explicit motive, a "no" can seem pretty unfair to your child. Give him the tools to understand your reactions and consequently his own behaviour.
3. Distinguish your kid from his behaviors. What I mean is : always make really clear to your kid that when you punish him for doing this or that, it is mainly because you dislike his behavior. This has nothing to do with the love you feel for him. You love him anyway. Simply tell him this truth. But it's his behavior that has to change. Children easily take a punishment for a lack of love. The love for your little one is obvious for you, not always for him. Hug him after each punishment to make him accept punishments as a part of education and as a logical consequence to a bad behavior.
I do wish I answered "How to discipline a child?" in a way that will help you parenting your child and give him all he needs to become a responsible, caring and sensitive grownup. Naturally, your situation may very well be way more challenging. If your little one is disrespectful and defiant for a long time, you might need way more than these advices. What I can recommend is to apply a parenting program. That is what I did. Regardless of how problematic the problem is at this time, you can solve it. Trust me.
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