If You're a Desperate Mother, Read Theses Advices !

I believe we can lose our sanity when we are a mom. At one point, we just feel and know that things are not any longer under our control. Maybe you understand what went wrong, maybe you do not even remember the way it occurred, how that routine made of tantrums and screams established itself into your life. I believe that the minute we are tempted to google "desperate mother", is when we feel like we have tried almost everything and that we're powerless and tired and maybe worried we might not love our child enough. It's a shocking thought, but it can happen too, it is a reality.



What I want you to do, dear desperate mother, is to look at things in perspective, take some time to think and understand that your child is a child, that he will not adapt himself to you if you don't improve your own behaviour, reactions, words. What you need is good communication skills, know which mistakes you make and what you can do to improve things. Being a desperate mother isn't a fatality due to the fact that there is always a solution.



Here are my 5 essential advices:



1 - Don't ever give in. Your child thinks in a simple way. If he gets what he wants by yelling or insisting, he will keep acting the same way. When he realizes you don't give in, never change your mind when you make a decision, he will have to admit it because then he'll know that tantrums are ineffective.



2 - Speak to your little one. Take that time. Value what he does, what he tells you, do not make him must grab your attention by being annoying. Explain to him the things you do, your feelings, where you're taking him, how you expect him to behave. Talk to him about his bad behaviour during quiet moments, don't wait until the tantrum occurs to explain that it is a bad attitude. Show compassion, even if you don't give in, say you understand his frustration or anger.



3 - Don't spank, stop screaming. Stay calm and always keep your voice down. Yes, as a desperate mother, it seems impossible and you're half-right, it can be pretty tough but it's a major advice I'm giving you here! The way your little one reacts means that it is a way of expression he has chosen most likely because you did not give or express any alternative. When you are mad at someone and start quarrelling and that person remains extremely calm and talks in a quiet voice, what do you do? You calm down. When your little one screams, make sure he understands he has other alternatives, that he can communicate his emotions with words just like you. Same thing if he hits you or bites.



4 - Do not label your little one as a liar, a cheater, a bad kid... You don't admit his behavior but you love him and you know he can act differently. Tell him this or he may believe in this label and act on it for the rest of his life, just like the label "desperate mother" isn't going to help you understand and change the situation.



5 - Be coherent and consistent. Reward a good behavior, make clear what's wrong and right. Make your little one choose a good behavior by showing him what it can bring to him, the trust you can put in him, the things you can share.



Were you expecting something more simple? Come on, parenting isn't easy but with the appropriate communication tools, you can improve the situation, have your sanity back and your personnal life, have young children you can count on and trust. It is at your reach. You can go from a desperate mother to a happy one. Most moms and dads experienced that. I did. Good luck !

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