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Parenting Step Children - Learn The 7 Best Advices for Parenting Step Children !

By Laura Kaine - Feb 20, 2010

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It is an excellent thing to seek for guidelines on parenting step children. This ındicates you care and cherish the bond you can create with them to at last be respected and loved by them. Don't expect to be listened to at first or to be permitted to discipline them. You'll have to be patient.

To summarize the progression of your relationship with your step children, you'll start a little bit as a baby sitter, then will be seen in some way like an aunt or uncle and eventually as a real relative, a really close member of the family. Do not forget you wish to be their friend. Their mother and father are here for the discipline part, you are not. And yes, it's an advantage!

Parenting step children takes 7 steps:

1- Be straightforward when introducing who you are and what you would like to become for them. Be sure they comprehend you don't want to take the role of their mum or father. You have to be out of the discipline issue from the beginning. Say you will not apply punishments but will just do what has been determined with their parents by reporting undesirable behaviours to them simply because they decide of the consequences. It's an agreement you have. You just want to know your step children more and to be friends if it seems o.k. for them. Speak openly to help them talk about what they are thinking. You're an "intruder" for them, it's perfectly natural.

2- Express some curiosity in your step children's lives. They might find this strange and may not answer a lot but keep being interested in what they do, it will eventually pay off. Always attempt to know what is occuring in their lives, attempt to remember what they speak about, the name of their friends, important dates... It'll surprise them. Parenting step children is actually about being there.

3- Be a team with your spouse. Speak with one voice or the step children might attempt to turn one against the other and benefit from your disagreements. If your spouse legitimates your place in the family, it'll be much simpler for you.

4- Be patient in your effort to develop a positive relationship with your step children. It takes persistence obviously but you shouldn't lose hope. If you are constant in your behavior, your step children will more likely know they can rely on you. Simply be there for them and respect the time they need to get closer to you.

5- Spend some time alone with each of them, do things they like. On your way back, stop by a coffee shop to eat or drink something and chat a little. It will let them to discover a different facet of you and they will remember what you shared and how great and nice it was. Doing one-on-one activities can make parenting step children much easier and will help developing the relationship faster.

6- Be sincere with what you think. Let them know it is tricky for you but that you honestly would like to be their friend. Ask them what they feel. By talking freely, they'll be more inclined to share their feelings toward you. Naturally it may hurt a bit, but since they'll be surprised you are not their enemy and understand them, they will feel compassion for you too!

7- Be funny! It will help the family consider things differently and will relieve some tensions. Humor can really help you get closer to your step children.

It would be wrong to declare that parenting step children is pretty simple but with those 7 steps, I am convinced you can create your own place in their hearts and become a full member of their family. You are going to be respected and loved. Be available for them, be reliable, fun and compassionate.

A last word for the step moms and dads of extremely difficult children. You might be interested in the website I launched with some parents where you can read reviews of a selection of parenting methods we tested. They can seriously help parenting step children that are really difficult to deal and communicate with. By the way, one of the authors of those programs is a step father! The link is my bio if you are interested. Difficult situations have to be acted upon, otherwise they just get worse or at least do not create anything.
Author Bio
I'm a mom and an editor and a wife too. I discovered how wonderful mastering parenting skills is when I faced a very difficult situation with my daughter's behavior, June. Having changed this situation into a strong relationship and real peace of mind for me and my husband thanks to a parenting program, it made me want to share what I know to help others, which I did, with several families, different situations. It changes everything to understand what are the mistakes we make, how we can improve the way we communicate with our children to help them become responsible adults. Later, I gathered a team of parents to build together a website about parenting methods, to tell parents who feel powerless that we know some parenting methods can be effective and make a difference. To me that's what is great about internet. Gathering people, helping people, sharing valuable knowledge and spreading the word about solutions that really work. I do hope my articles will give the answers you're looking for, and give you hope back.

Other Resources
http://www.yourparentinghelp.com
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