What Your Underwear Says About You

Fat folks don't like new underwear and that's a fact. While new underwear might have a lot going for it, fat folks really don't like it all that much, because it isn't stretched out and that new elastic is too tight and tends to chafe, in addition to the regular rub.

Come summertime and hot weather, that chafe and rub can give you a wicked rash and you'll end up dumping cups of Gold Bond Powder down your drawers, just so you can walk around. Then, you'll finally get it stopped and the whole cycle starts over again.

Back in Brooklyn, where laundry got strung between buildings, you could learn a lot about anatomy, by what was hanging on the clothesline. Some of the drawers that dried in the wind, there, could have been used as weather balloons, or pontoon boats. It was
very hard to believe that you needed that much material to cover somebody's rear end.

If your underwear bites, rubs and chafes...there isn't anything wrong with it. The real problem is the model it's on. If you are carrying a 48 waist and trying to squeeze into 36 shorts, you have the beginnings of an image problem (not to mention a probable wardrobe malfunction). And while millions wanted a look at what Janet Jackson had to offer, they probably are not going to feel the same way about whatever part of your anatomy is hanging out in public.

Take a look in the mirror. It will tell you everything you need to know about the state of your health.

For most of us, the view could use a little photoshopping. Or possibly, a lot.

But you can regain control...starting right now. There will be bumps, bruises and scratches along the way, but the benefits of being able to buy new underwear and having it actually fit, outweigh them all. Start with pharmaceutical grade fish oil, get some sunlight, some exercise and eat better. You'll be surprised by what you can do ...and how much better you'll feel.

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